Valentines Day (by choice)

I bought a heart Valentines Day brownie for my kids today. I figured the least I could do was to offer them a special dessert on the night before tomorrow. Incidentally, I had the cake read: Happy heart day... since the concept of Valentines is sometimes too hard to take in our forced fed culture of canned romance, or boxed, long stem...you get the picture. Instead, I glanced at something in the global papers today that made me think how lucky we actually may be, to others on the other side of the world.

I read about a proposed law, the Anti-Women Practices Bill which was introduced into Parliament today in the country of Pakistan. For those who were not aware about this country's traditions or why this is so important, let me explain.

Men, a tribe, a small community, due to tradition and ignorance find it appropriate to force a woman to marry, or force her not to marry and marry her to a religion (literally Koran marraiges actually happen to help prevent women claiming inherited property). They can even force her to marry to settle a feud.

I am not sure about you, but if my entire life, future and old age would have to be spent with a guy I hardly knew due to a feud in my neighborhood; I would go ballistic...

In recent years, there has been a push both culturally and politically (by some, not all) to move ahead the clock on these traditions, and to create a legal right of equality that never existed before in this young country (partitioned from India since 1947).

With a country that has the 6th largest world population of about 166+ Million people in an area almost twice the size of California, the masses are clearly getting a dose of new policy. This is important especially since 48% (based on the CIA at least) are deemed literate which means over 50% are not. Until those folks are educated, many of the people in the country side and villages lives a life of tradition, recounting oral history and guided by their neighbor on what morality, values and traditions to follow.

One quick note, that on the "educated" front, many of my own relatives and friends are very highly educated and come from families that seem to be a different part of Pakistan, a more humanist side, kinder and more equitable to women rights. In fact many women in my family are arguably the stronger thread of their families. Notwithstanding this fact however, the other side still exists and is still at least half the population.

This law would outlaw forced marriages against women, whether by force through tribal custom or otherwise. The penalty is three years--to seven years depending on the offense. If a husband for example raises charges of infidelity and loses, he could face charges of slander and the woman could seek a divorce action. If this law passes, and can stand the muster of the traditionalists, it may offer women a voice, a strong hand and acknowledgement that their choice actually means something.

The hope that I have is that although the law could intiate and codify these important essential human rights, the people who enforce it, the families that hear about it, the women that find empowerment still have to bring this law into reality and make a lasting mark on day to day life in Pakistan... for everyone. Then can a women stop being forced into marriage and a life long journey she never chose.

First it has to pass. Then maybe next year's Valentine's Day, we can have something to celebrate.