Nish stops.

I was sick for 2 days. This entry is really a reflection about when we are stopped in our tracks.

I had to actually call in sick two days in a row. I never do that, and yet I had to with a fever that would not go away and a headache etc that prevented me from focusing, reading or even responding to my blackberry. I slept longer in bed than I can ever recall, looking at the clock as it hit the AM's and then the afternoon and into evening, with little motivation for me to get up. I did finally to eat some wasa crackers and to drink some water and hang out with my kids. But the experience was surreal.

I have also found out that Alec loves to hang out with me at my worst moments, wanting to be held and just to sit with me. My daughter meanwhile comes to my room, sits on my bed and asks whether I am feeling better. When I am sick I am not in the mood to chat or hang out, but with kids like these, who can resist?

P has been wonderful during these two days, as his work schedule on his book has become topsy turvy dependent on how the house is going, whether he can feel good enough to leave the house while I am less than better. I wish my illness didnt impact him at all, but in reality what I go through, he goes through too, for good or for bad. As a quick example, he slept in our "office" at night, on an old couch/bed which is not very comfortable, but since I have had such sleepless nights, it was his only hope for a full night sleep. Actually he awoke 5 times each night, with a sore back and probably feeling more tired than when he went to bed. He is really a sweetie.

Anyway, I came back to life today...almost. One of the Nancy's at work (there are three...) looked at me said I should go home, and wondered if I got any work done. Well, it was a better day than yesterday and although I did not get all the stuff done, I did make a dent in my workload.

I do not like getting "stopped" in my tracks, but I have to let go, be detached and let others help out. My work-mates (thanks Judy and Nancy) were amazingly supportive, helpful and very kind; my family was great, and even though everyone kept on going, they didnt make me feel bad that I couldnt.

Nice to sometimes stop, since only at those times, does one know who will help you go forward.