mid life crisis?

There are occasional moments where I crave to run to Paris, move to Princeton (proper, not the suburb where we are now), relocate to Holland, London, or even to some isolated beautiful beach scape where the water is a clear blue.

Within the moment, I tend to think about the "possible" opportunities elsewhere, new friends who we can meet, engage in deep dinner conversations, and review the latest Charlie Rose. I ponder on the mutual affection for a life with spiritual choices, where we are guided not by a sense of greater materiality; but instead a path of learning, reflection, growth and challenges.

Somehow, although my current place in life is rich, learning, and enjoyable, I still crave elsewhere. This is why I wonder if my age is dawning on me, I am after all going to turn 38 this coming Friday.

I will spend the day with my husband, maybe grabbing a tea somewhere, or cappuccino depending on the mood of the day, and then we will spend time with one of our favorite couples having dinner in town while our kids mutually enjoy themselves at a play spot drop off for kids down the road.

It all sounds good, and while I get ready for another week at work (and host a conference for my colleagues in NY city) I will mostly be excited, revved up and having a good time doing so; in a genuine sort of way despite the fatigue that it sometimes generates.

But, there are those moments, I guess the thrill of leaving everything behind, especially the responsibilities, tasks, endless daily chores, seem so tempting. The mundane leads to melancholy, I wouldn't mind hiding from the world a little bit, or escape deep into it, depending on my mood. It is easy to linger on this, but it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy doesn't it? Instead, I have to tap into those things that enlighten, inspire and give back a little to me (and my better half who sometimes echoes these sentiments in other ways).

Getting back to reality, I also have to acknowledge that the most cherished moments are those deeper times with friends when deeper refection, and having fun (watching the latest Harry Potter or Bourne Ultimatum, or even hiking) are those I crave the most. Apart from walking through a city (NY, London, Paris) where the world opens up a freedom and excitement that is a constant charge, I need to figure out what or how to do that on my own, within my house, my time, family and friends.

So maybe my crisis is just realizing what is most or more important in life; and then creating that which is inspiring and wonderful on my own, or in this case with dear friends. I think I will try to do that more, maybe then our lost moments will become gained, and the crisis, albeit a short one fades...