Learning from kids

These little kids teach me things when I least expect it. Case in point: Bella's prayers. So each morning we sing prayers together, or occasionally she sings them herself. The other day I cam downstairs scurrying around in the morning trying to rush through my morning routine of preparing her lunch, giving Alec and Bella breakfast, making my coffee, making my tea for my ride to work, and checking my blackberry for morning emails.

Anyway, I arrive downstairs and she was already ready with her sneakers on (sometimes a very long battle), brushed teeth and breakfast prepared (thanks P). That morning as we left the house I reminded her that we should say prayers. Well, she happily informed me she already said three of them. Wow...I was speechless. One is great, but three?

So later that day, Pieter told me that when he picked her up from school, she was very thrilled that her day was really good; so good in fact that she was not "in trouble" during circle time for talking. She told her teacher too. Her teacher said "yeah, you were good today..." Isabella told Pieter that she prayed for 3 things: ...One: that she wouldn't get in trouble today; two: that Mommy wouldn't be grumpy in the morning; and three: that Max would get better.

When he told me I was floored (for non English speakers, this phrase conveys awe and surprise) I was amazed partly because it was so refreshing that she could see a positive consequence to her prayerful attitude and state of mind; and partly because I could not believe she prayed that I wouldn't be grumpy. Hearing that was so humbling and led to some serious self-reflection.

I am a night person, and love to stay up late (hence the blogging at midnight etc.) So in the AM I am more focused on getting done the things I need to get done, without excess chatting, and frankly with as little distraction as possible...Am I happy? No. Am I a nice person to be with when I get up? Sadly, no. My best mornings are when I get up after a good night sleep, practice some yoga in the morning, drink some green tea and then carry the rest of my day with grace instead of restlessness. Uhhhh, how often do I do that?? Too embarrassed to mention and frankly too rare to even count.

I did however learn some lessons:

Lesson 1: Stop being so focused on myself and being grumpy. My little girl notices.
Lesson 2: She is amazing
Lesson 3: I love these kids more than I ever believed I'd have the capacity for...

I don't know how long it will take for me to unwind in the AM and get my restful smilely face on, but looking at these little kids sure makes it easier. (I'll brew some stronger coffee too)

Oh yeah, and the lesson from Alec? He is so full of love and affection I am at a loss for words. But he is not!

We were at the Pediatrician a few weeks ago for his 2 year check up (he was 26 months but who is counting?). Since Alec was only saying 20 words rather than 30-40 his doctor was a little concerned. So anyway, he tells us to wait until September, track his progress and then we will see if his slower speaking stage is caused by something else (such as hearing although we immediately thought that was not possible as Alec can track a plane with hearing the slightest sounds in the sky. My Mom is convinced he will be a pilot)

So as soon as we leave the doctor's office and every day since then... What happens? Alec starts saying every single word we say, Belllllla, Appl, Boooowl,caaar, two, mellllon, bottttle, cookie, weh weh (oh yeah, that is still not a word, but his word for licorice which he LOVES) and he doesn't stop.

Just when you think you know the stage they are in, they surprise you. I am beginning to really enjoy Motherhood. (did I actually just write that?)

Cool. (and Bon soir...)

Mirroring worlds

Here is a common Sunday afternoon, the fan blowing since the humidity has reached a real high point. I am viewing our verdant garden from our library, and things seem really nice.

Listening to Madeline Peyroux (very smooth stuff) and drinking raspberry seltzer with a splash of lime. Cool.

While I am sitting here though, I am wondering how the world is handling these recent implosions. Haifa was bombed, which is the World Administrative Center of the Bahai Faith, the place where close friends of ours live, visit and serve. But it doesnt stop there, North Korea talks are at a low point while the UN tries to muster enough objection to prevent a veto from China; 25% of all children need pills in summer camp (yup, check the NY times,kids at camps need pills for treating their ADD, psychiatric problems or mood disorders... this is our America folks); Beirut is being bombed extensively and for some it is payback, for others it is unjustified tactic; US & Moscow falter on their recent trade talks; oil is going up, pricier and yet another pinch on the global economy; and the world keeps on spinning.

In my little microcosm of a world, I had some nice news this week. It started while we visited Max and his family at their home, while Max is recuperating and living on the outside. It was great to see this little man, giving life a try and still pushing each moment through, with smiles, playing, watching "thomas the train" and extending friendship to Bella and Alec. I also spoke to Samira's family, adn heard that Samira's son Ellis is doing great and Samira is better, still grappling with her limitations but getting on okay. It is still miraculous that she is okay and I am so encouraged by her survival.

Oh yeah, I also got promoted from Area Counsel, Director to Vice President Senior Counsel. I really appreciate that part of my life, as I have great people to work with and I do believe that a part of me, the true me gets expressed through my work; both from the spirtual sense and creatively. I am thankful for that, and love the extra pennies it adds to our monthly purse strings.

But through this all, the world affects and worries me. How can I better be part of the solution, rather than add to the complaining, worrying and the do nothing folks? I need to think about it...

Until next time, peace, really.

how i spent my vacation

Green Acre

A place for friends, poetry, light and fulfillment

Meeting new souls with like minded hearts, so inspiring

Stories new, stories old over tea by the moonlight.

Children laughing, rolling down the greenest hills.

Sharing, encouraging, and strengthing our paths

As we all gaze at our Beloved, detached and knowing

That all will be all right, within His Trust...within His Trust.

Next Level Radio...and Merz

I am trying to keep my faith vibrant, despite some really tough hardships that my dearest friends are going through right now. But sometimes it is personally difficult to get the energy and laughter back so easily. My kids are always a source of inspiration, and for that I am utterly grateful.

I recently came across two things that I wanted to share that helped calm my soul and was a source of inspiration.

If you have 3 segments of 30 minutes available, please fill them up at least one of them by listening to one of 3 podcasts from www.nextlevelradio.org. This new podcast now with its 3rd broadcast now availabe, is brought to you by a one of my favorite people, Will Morrison the 7th. He is utterly unique, humble, kind and the most genuine type of guy (a son of a blacksmith, Computer geek AND a DJ..need I say more?).

Through his Pod cast, he is finding new ways to share developments on musicians, rappers, poets and rock bands who all have a positive world embracing message. Listening to Will and his interviews, selections of music and dialogue around spirituality and art is a true inspiration. Not only for me, but for other start-up artists who are wondering if their message counts. I hope Will keeps on broadcasting, I can't wait for number 4.

On the same note, I also re-discovered music that I am swept up into and have listened and re-listened over the past few weeks. Merz, led by a Bahai named Conrad Lambert is an artist that I cannot get enough of. His latest LP Silvertree which is available on ITUNES is soulful, absolutely intoxicating and melts my heart. Especially Dangerous Heady Love Scheme. He is amazing, just amazing. (by the way, the band Coldplay thinks so too! check out their review on his site at www.merz.co.uk)

Enjoy, and one other bit of news, little Max laughed today... some of the best news I have heard in a while.

Eternal hope.

I have a wonderful friend Samira,a beaming light like few others. She is joyful, energetic, deepened in her Faith, spiritual to the core and so fun to be with. I went to college with her and have known her since I was a teenager. She is the one who would accompany me to Chi Chi's to chat and eat chips when it was too tiring to study. We talked on endless nights about friendship, family, faith, guys, ideas of joy, of suffering...and we absolutely get each other, in an easy, no need to explain fashion. We also LOVED dancing to the Cure (Close to Me...)

Today I heard a story about her which brought me to tears because of the heartwrenching events that have unfolded in her life in the past week.

On a normal day, Samira, who is 8 months pregant, brought her 2 year old daughter home and unfastens her from the car seat to bring her daughter into her house. After she comes back outside she reaches to get her purse from inside the car, and the car starts to roll back while in park mode.

Samira was dragged down the hill with the car, and then was severely injured by the car as she had fallen and the car had ran her over. (!!!!, my mind cannot fully comprehend this last fact even now) With crushed ribs and collapsed lungs and many other internal injuries, she decided at that moment, laying on the street by her house, that if she didnt get up, that she would not survive. She some how got the superhuman strength to actually get to her neighbor's house and ring the bell.

After ringing the door bell of the neighbor, she asked them to keep an eye on her daughter...and to call 911. She was flown in a helicopter to the hospital.

Not only is she alive, but a miracle that she is and her new son is alive. Her baby was saved, despite a second by second life threatening operating procedure. The nurses, even with 23 years of experience called it a miracle baby and a miracle mom.

The little boy Ellis is now stronger and healthier than anyone could ever have anticipated, despite his first moments of life without any breath. Samira is in ICU, but is slowly getting a prognosis that seems to be a good one. The doctors, nurses, everyone, everywhere people are amazed, they are astonished at her miraculous survival and of her baby.

...Today after I heard the details of the accident, I couldnt help but to just cry, with both tears of joy that they are okay but also in a surreal sense of "Oh My God" my dearest friends are really suffering. First little Max, and now this incredulous event of Samira and her new baby boy. What do I do with this information? How do I compute this data into my life? These are people who are pushing beyond their means, they are absolutely courageous and treading on a path which tests their resolve, their life force and their ability to face life in the darkest hours. It makes me think of who we are, and the smallness of our lives.

A single moment can change our lives and shock us out of our limited sense of reality in a heartbeat.

I extend my deepest love, prayers and hope to my friends who are suffering beyond my worst nightmares as their events unfold before their eyes. But I still believe that they continue this fight because it is not yet over. Some how we are given these trials but I refuse to believe that we are alone. We are never left alone and even though the wisdom of the suffering may not be clear to us now, we have to trust, have faith, grab hold to our sense of reality and shift and move in the direction flexibily enough so we can somehow God willing, emerge wiser, stronger and maybe even victorious.

"O My servants! Sorrow not if, in these days and on this earthly plane, things contrary to your wishes have been ordained and manifested by God, for days of blissful joy, of heavenly delight, are assuredly in store for you. Worlds, holy and spiritually glorious, will be unveiled to your eyes. You are destined by Him, in this world and hereafter, to partake of their benefits, to share in their joys, and to obtain a portion of their sustaining grace."

-Bahá'u'lláh

Fate of a child

The last several days I have not really thought too much about blogging. Instead I have been pondering, praying, hoping, wondering, frustrated, confused, detached and then calm...

A few days after my 11th year anniversary I heard horrible news that one of our dearest friend's son, who is 4 and a half years young is suffering from Stevens Johnson syndrome and T.E.N., Toxic Epidermal Necrolysis. The origin of how he got this is unclear, but the reality of this disease or condition is absolutely real. This wonderful child is in an intensive care burn unit in a very famous hospital in NY city, somewhere on the 8th floor, with many doctors, specialists and experts at this child's side. Incredibly, as this child goes through infections, sloughing of the skin, transfusions, and process after process, he is subjected to every kind of sophisticated treatment available in the world today; but no one knows how or what this will do, except that they hope for the best.

I watch as the parents listen, in a profoundly patient manner, the diagnosis, the possible prognosis and what is happening from skin to skin to their child. The parents themselves are medical doctors knowing exactly how or what the "experts" tell them, and they know the most significant truth...that there is no sure answer.

Moment by moment, more experts come by and offer their prayers, support and assistance while they try to unravel the mysteries that this condition has wrapped this child in. Despite all strides in medical science, many conditions such as the one here are unclear, mysterious and without a definite treatment. So what comfort can the parents have in the medical realm, where the best medical training in the country does not equip them for this trial?

The parents...our friends, are the kind of friends we consider as family, the kind that we love and wish for their happiness forever...despite time, distance or growth in this world. So strange that we used to double date before they were married, for dinners, movies, walks in NY city. These are the same people who almost forever ago from now, Pieter and I witnessed buying their engagement ring. The same people we encouraged to have their wedding in Central Park (they did...)

It seems so surreal. Now years later, the only important thing is their child's health; and keeping it together, especially for the sake of themselvers and for their daughter who is the same age as Alec.

I have been praying a lot, having a difficult time in focusing on my day to day frentic paced life while I think about this child born into this marriage that we witnessed as he is waiting for his fate. So many friends, family, strangers, old and young, even those who do not believe are praying so hard for this child. Everyone I know who knows about this has been taken swept up in this plight, hoping that all goes well, praying that despite all odds that he will in fact pull through.

So my blogging stuff has slowed down since I am waiting at this edge for news of his recovery, developments and condition. I only went to the hospital twice thus far, but really wish I could just stay there and support our friends Muni and John. Just to be there for a 24/7 hug, whenever needed anytime. I am wishing that Red Envelope has the gift that has unending Hope in a box, one that can encourage us in our deepest suffering and uplift us into knowing that everything WILL be all right.

For anyone out there, until that special Box arrives, please offer prayers of strength, courage, hope, love and healing.

So Max, my prayers will be with you tonight, dear little one, keep your strength up and continue your fight. We are all eagerly cheering you on...

NY Times article on persecutions of Bahá'ís

Describing the latest arrests (see below Youth Persecution In Iran?) as the largest mass arrest since the 1980's, this article presents an overview of the alarming activities recently taking place in Iran on the persecution of the Bahá'ís.

Check out the link to the article written by Laurie Goodstein http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/01/world/middleeast/01bahai.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

As Iran continues to move the pendulum towards and away from nuclear threats, I cannot help to speculate what their agenda is, how far they will go and whether they are or even believe that they are unstoppable...

To New York and back, with love.

For our 11th year anniversary, Pieter and I went to frequent the spots we used to go to, visit places we never have and reacquaint ourselves with our former home, Manhattan. We took the NY Waterway Ferry across from NJ to NY, the same ride we used to take everyday to get to work in NY. The boat was nice, and though cloudy, was still a great ride, all 6 minutes of it.

When we arrived, we went to Columbia Circle to the Mall on 59th which contained the flagship store of Williams-Sonoma and an array of other shops and restaurants (one with a review a great place to eat, but lunches costing a mere $300). Our experience was less than interesting, maybe because I didn't really care to splurge for anything that was unnecessary, nor did I find the high end boutiques pleasant. The fancy bakery that looked really good was a real let-down. How in the world could a $30 ham and cheese baguette and an almond brioche be stale and overly soggy respectively?? What-ever. The best part of the "mall" was walking down to the basement for some Heavenly teas from Whole Foods and then bringing our overpriced baguettes and wet brioche to Central Park, where we checked out a cool tree and ate lunch. Anyway, despite the oops factor, and the "better to go to Cosi for a GOOD sandwich" it was still a day of discovery, with more to come. After the park and checking out the new APPLE store uptown, we took a ride in the subways to go to Soho and revisit some of our favorite cafes.

The subway reminded me that NY is a city of strangers, often bumping into one another and exchanging the rituals of human communication, trust and kindness. Yes, this is NY, but I felt the warmth and the briskness of the city again. We had many smiles, short conversations, pictures that people volunteered to take (while holding 3 Hat boxes mind you)and through it all witnessed the symbiotic consciousness of the city. The funny element though that is often missing, is that you have to have the right EYES to see this. I found eye to eye contact in this panorama of movement can be extremely cold and distant, self-preserving with fear, or can enable one to connect completely as a fellow soul walking on the street.

For Pieter and myself, it often felt like the latter and we enjoyed it. Check out the cellist in the cafe which was located in an art gallery. So cool, and so NY.

Anyway, later after Iced coffees, Jamba juices etc, Pieter and I went to the opening weekend of AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH, a very impressive film about reality that is not fun to hear; man's playground (Earth) needs some improvement and fast due to global warming. I was skeptical and cautious and was fully aware that I personally would not be swayed by suppositions only of "uncertain" or "unfounded" science regarding global warming. Instead, I wanted to wait for facts supported by uncontroverted details before I reach a conclusion, a process that may be intuitively supported by legal analysis tools I use everyday. This film provided the content...dead on, simple, and to the point. Facts like this do not need the Hollywood drama, stars or a great script to get the message across. If you can watch a film this summer, watch this one and become aware. I would offer that anyone who has a preconcieved notion of what global warming is, whether it is a myth or reality, keep your mind open and think for yourself. It may help mankind (or rather the Western world) prevent some of the worst manmade global crises from happening.

Towards the end of the night, after we reflected on the state of the world, as far as environment, global cooperation and pro active action was concerned, we needed to eat dinner.

The table is perfect, the restaurant like a second home, and the food, oh the food. Cornelia Street Cafe was our host for the evening, a place Pieter and I used to go to and loved each time for its simplicity, great food and warm atmosphere. We commenced with sharing a warm goat cheese salad on belgian endive; and then extended our journey with Bistro-perfect Steak Frites, and ended the wondrous meal with cappacino that made me want to linger in the City lights for the rest of the night. Here is quick pic with me holding the candle in awe of our surroundings, evening and overall celebration of our anniverary.

The day was memorable and every bit special. It was like seeing our old friend again. With some friends, it is great to visit, but better to keep a distance. It was nice to see that we both were so thankful for our 5 year experience in and around the city, but even happier that we could come home. (A special Hartelijk Bedankt to Carolina for taking care of Bella and Alec ALL day and being a fantastic Oma (making pancakes with them and all). We couldnt have had the day without your generosity, kindness and love.

When We Dance...

Eleven years ago tomorrow, the most wonderful event happened that changed the rest of my life. I made a promise to someone and these were the words I heard on that most wonderful day while we had our 1st dance as husband and wife on May 27, 1995:

Come and live with me
We'll have children of our own
I would love you more than life
If you'll come and be my wife
When we dance, angels will run and hide their wings

I'm gonna try in every way
Cathedrals are broken
Heaven's no longer above
And hellfire's a promise away
I'd still be saying
I'm still in love
When we dance, angels will run and hide their wings

I never thought it would come true, but it has. What started as an unexpected yet wonderful email correspondance in 1994 became the start of an incredible intense shared friendship and partnership that would last and endure through today with utter love and respect while setting each other free as we grow & learn through this thing called life.

Happy anniversary to my greatest love and best friend Pieter Bas. I look forward to the rest of time by your side.

Youth persecution in Iran?

I received an heart wrenching email around midnight that 57 Bahá'í youth were recently arrested in Shiraz. They were taken captured, and imprisoned...I supposed by the authorities. I do not know any details, or have I verified with any news agency. As much as I hope (and pray) it is not true, it could be.

Today also commemorates a holy day for Bahá'ís, with the Declaration of the Báb, which began the "Bahá'í era". 163 years ago, the Báb, the prophet-herald of the Bahá'í Faith, announced in the same city of Shiraz, that he was the herald of a new messenger of God and with that new messenger, a new age in which a new type of society, one of unity, and world peace.

Commencing with the announcement of the Báb, Bahá'ís believe the coming of Bahá'u'lláh opened the age for the establishment of world peace, when, as anticipated in the sacred scriptures of the past, all humanity will achieve its spiritual and social maturity, and live as one united family in a just, global society. Bahá'ís believe that there is one God, that all humanity is one family, and that there is a fundamental unity underlying religion. Interesting note that the night of the Declaration of the Báb coincided with the 1st transmission in Morse code in 1844 with the following words: “What hath God wrought?”

Is this a religion that deserves persecution?? More than 20,000 Bahá'ís have already died, people have been killed in the past and in the recent present. Now today, of all days, more youth, YOUTH, students, kids, not adults, but youth have been captured and imprisoned???!!!

I will not recount all the history of the Bahá'í persecutions in the past, (go to Bahai.org/iranthreat for more history and information) but I am constantly and utterly numbed at how this can persist even through today.

I know that recently, there has been fear that the attack on the Bahá'ís would get worse. The White House even took note.(See blog entry on White House responds). It is happening, it is happening, the fear has become reality.

The only thing I know what to do is to say prayers for these youth, for strength, courage, safety and their return, and that as these events take hold, as the world takes notice, that action will follow thought, and voices will be heard to change this situation, before it gets too late.