Bella's little painting adventure

Bella was almost in trouble last Saturday morning. I got up and Bella was already downstairs. Usually she waits for us and plays computer games until Pieter and I slowly wake up. It is one of the only days we can kind of sleep in...till 8:30. (oh the days of waking up after 10...)

Anyway, I saw her come to my room and happily tell me that she had painted a flower and wanted to show it to me. I kind of brushed aside her statement since I thought that "painting" must be the wrong word she used, since she couldn't possibly know where the supplies are, how to make sure the paint would not spill and get all the prep she would need. Plus I was still waking up and trying to get my toothbrush and get Alec dressed at the same time.

After getting ready, she kept on pushing me to come down and see what she did. I was getting slightly worried. If she did actually PAINT, she would have definitely made a mess. Each time she does we go through a long process, finding some old newspaper, getting some water to wet the brush, opening some paints from the higher shelf in the closet, etc.

I came downstairs, saw her table and to my surprise, her desk was covered with paint stuff...not paint all over on the table as I would have suspected, but a neat pile of newspapers underneath some drawing paper, about 5 different types of paint open but not spilled, a small container of water to wet the brush, and a paint brush.

I was speechless, confused and almost angry. Part of me wanted to let her know that this was not acceptable behavior and that she KNEW she should have asked first. But the other part was amazed at her neatness, consideration and intelligence around creating her little masterpiece. Her picture speaks for itself.

I did remind her that next time, she should really ask us before she does this again. But I did thank her and tell her I was proud that she remembered all the steps all by herself, and that her flower was very beautiful.

Lets see what she comes up with tomorrow morning.

Children's classses the REMIX

Recently, things have gotten very BUSY, people staying over, house issues to fix, school transfers (public school to Montessori for Bella), new responsibilities, a paper to prepare for, and classes to start (2 that I am actually teaching, and this is outside of work) etc. I am getting tired.

The "teaching of classes" is getting a bit daunting, as one of them starts tomorrow morning and the otherin a few weeks. Part of my struggle lies in learning how to teach children and find the unique potential "gems" in each child and enable them to help see themselves as special, unique beautiful individuals that can be empowered to take decisions that assist others and themselves. This is particularly challenging when this society does not recognize that spiritual education and moral leadership is as essential as reading, writing and math. There are no "exams" or school ratings based on how they teach values in humanity or diversity training, multi-cultural respect, service to others etc.

A recent initiative by the global communities of the Bahais is to multiply these "spiritual education" classes in as many places as possible, so that all children are educated in this light, regardless of religion, creed, economics or politics. It is a wonderful initiative and I am proud to be a part of it in coordinating growing classes in our "central jersey" area.

Around the world, I have read stories from Columbia, Russia, UK, Senegal and even Nicaragua (HI BRAD AND CYN!!) that have inspired me where these initiatives have been successful, and children and parents realized that these classes actually impacted the way their kids acted on a day to day basis...for the better.

So, back to my little goal for Hillsborough NJ.

We decided to launch locally (from our home) a class called "Raising Peacemakers" a Bahai inspired conflict resolution class which has been modified by a great resource called Ruhi Book 3 "Teaching Children's Classes". The class materials are great, and includes art, music, stories and inspiring quotes so I am assuming, with a little luck the class will be fun, and an attractive learning experience for children from our neighborhood. The class will hopefully provide practical measures that children elementary school aged (from 5-10) can take and apply in the playground, at school etc. to assist them in becoming learning how to act like moral leaders. One practical example is sharing with others, preventing bullying, realizing that not getting your way is really okay...etc.

We hope to get enough interest to actually sustain a class. We will be launching it here in a few weeks. The results will be interesting. (Stay tuned)

Anyway, I am also preparing for a Bahai education school that starts tomorrow morning in Somerset (and kind of I am delaying preparing by writing this blog entry) I had to listen to something that might help me find more inspiration and found a great song by MERZ that hits the point perfectly... (go to Merz.co.uk.com for a download, or ITUNES for more great stuff from them)

MYSTIC TRANSFORMATION (by MERZ)

teacher teacher do us a favour
not sure we are getting any cleverer

the kind of knowledge taught to us at school
be the death of me and the death of you
take a look at what is happening to
the children of us just look at what they do
we need a mystic transformation
to spread over our nation

trip of the time is that we're not all here
all messages collide into an oval sphere
there's something in there there's something without
dreams are reality that's what times about
all of natures not natural i love you then i don't
i'll be there when you need me but then again i won't
how did it happen? who can he be?
if life is worth living then show me

philosophy's recycled does that make it green?
does waste apply to our thoughts when we dream
lets deeds not words be your adorning
lets deeds not words be you

need a mystic transformation
to spread over our nation

everything you know is wrong i saw that on a sign
i thought that sign's clever i'll make it mine
search should be a sport in the Olympics
people shouldn't have to spend their lives jumping into sandpits
reflection should be our conversation at times
just sit there and listen as time drifts by
there are hidden gems of knowledge stored in our minds
and education can bring out what's inside
we can create we can administrate
we can live our lives in a film script state
it's within human power to let the force shower us
with it's bounties and blessings it's features and lessons

i don't have to spell things out in black and white
cos it's not a jam jar storage kind of life
for the benefit of those who say i've got mine
there's something out there it's moving
it's leaving you behind

teacher teacher do us a favour
i'm not sure we are getting any cleverer
kind of knowledge taught to us at school
be the death of me and the death of you
take a look at what is happening to
the children of us just look at what they do

we need a mystic transformation
to spread over our nation

(I'll settle for this area of NJ)

PS: Oh and by the way, if anyone who reads this have started similar children classes in their area, please share any hints, help and feedback you have gotten. I would love to hear...

Why not giving in can be so valuable

I had a battle of wits today with my little son Alec. It started at dinner time, where Pieter and I are trying to continue our pattern of sitting around our dining table to have dinner with the kids, without distraction, no TV, and maybe just occasionally jazz or down tempo music in the background. We have done this many times before but in the summer we also eat outside, inside, anywhere to escape the heat and to eat in peace. Usually, despite our best intentions, we all eat for about 12 minutes together, and then Alec wants to depart and play. He is not interested in his food until possibly an hour later and by then Bella is on dessert and he conveniently eats alternative food, peanut butter and jelly, bananas, apple, and or just maybe 2 more spoonfuls of his dinner.

Today was different. I made one of his favorites, spaghetti and meatballs, an easy kid friendly meal which I knew he would likely eat at least half of it with no fuss.

When he received a spoonful of plain spaghetti, which he gladly played and then ate, I should have known he would refuse any sauce laden cut up spaghettis in his little dish.

However, I was determined to make sure he would eat. He was a little ill over the weekend and I knew he should eat well, and get some protein in him and not just feast on long noodles with a touch of olive oil. So I asked, I told him, and I insisted that he have his food. Of course, this was not simple. It was interwoven with bouts of crying, spitting out food, coughing so close to vomiting, crying again, catching his breath from crying, yelling, almost pushing his bowl to the floor, and then just some individual noodles to follow...

Over a period of 55 minutes, I endured his crying, screaming and utter misery while I asked, pleaded, spoke to him sternly, and tried every trick to get him to take a few bites. No matter what I tried, he refused, and even just held the food in his mouth and continued to cry...

But no matter what or how he reacted, I just felt like it was not something I could give up... This was not a battle of wills, even though he probably thought it was, it was about love. I did not want to hear him cry another note, no more tears, no more looking at me, or looking away from me to avoid the spoon. How can a little child create so much anguish in me while I know I had to persist. Something was telling me not to give up.

I was not fully angry with him just confused and unsure how to react to his distaste and firm determination to not eat. I used gentle soft words except for once or twice where I just grappled for stronger words, but couldn't find any to take effect. Now to anyone reading this, you have to know that this is a slight departure for me. I usually speak with volume, in a quickened pace and am very determined. Somehow with this little guy, he reacts differently, and focused eye contact, gentle words and piercing sincerity seems to encourage his goodness while anger only seems to upset him.


After hearing his 50th minute of crying and defiance, he looked at me, and as he was catching his breath from crying I think he heard or felt that I was tearing up wondering how to convince this little strong soul that I knew what was best for him.
Maybe he was just exhausted, he leaned his head against my heart and he slowly calmed his rapid little breath and he became quiet.

He just waited as if he knew this could not go on, or else he know that I would not give up, or perhaps he realized that he could defer and trust me. I kept on repeating calmly and gently that I wanted him to eat because it was good for him, that I knew he didn't like it but that he has to eat. As he quieted, my voice slowed and I paused, just wondering what he would do.

I held the spoon with the spaghetti for what seemed like hours, but was probably 10 seconds, close to his mouth wondering if he would voluntarily just take it. His mouth stayed closed, so I tapped his mouth with my finger and asked him to open...and then then slowly it gave way.

Amazingly, he had 10 bites after that, and with each bite I repeated very softly that I utterly loved him and that I was so happy he was eating. I did not wait for him to stop rather I let him eat half his bowl and then let him play with Bella, which he was excited to do and ran over to her in the living room to join her.

The little picture above is him is right before I took him for a bath tonight and he was very happy. So was I, and before I think about the rest of the week and how to approach meals Tuesday through Friday with the family on the table...

I am glad I didn't give in.

Investigating the changing role of in house lawyers.

In the past few weeks, I have been traveling, hosting some friends and working on various projects which have been keeping me very busy. I have actually wanted to blog a few times, but frankly had very little "free" time to do so.

One of the projects that I have been working on is in preparing a lecture and dialogue for a presentation at a law conference this winter.

In December I will be attending the 10th Annual European Bahai Law Conference in the Netherlands and will be offering my 2 cents as an in house attorney on my experiences of guiding business and counseling corporate actors to act more ethically creating a more sound business and legal environment. This has become particularly relevant lately due to all the developments in regulatory compliance mandates (SOX, etc. and other acronyms that make most corporate executives cringe and spends lots more $$ to manage) which have required companies to be more transparent to the stockholder and to avoid deceptive practices.

As a result of these changes, instead of just providing legal advice to address legal issues from a silo that has little interaction with the business, the in-house legal role is shifting to be more of a business counselor, an advocate to help alter and form the strategy of the company and act as true trusted advisor. Either this is just the limited experience of an enthusastic lawyer that has great business folks to work with, or this is fact a changing trend.

In preparation for this I am going to do some research of how other "in house" lawyers have faced this challenge and whether this is true for many in the corporate landscape. If I find enough worthy information, I'd like to write an article of my findings.

For inspiration, I checked out various places that would accept such an article, not an official legal analysis but rather an essay or comment on the relevant legal envirnoment we face today. Suprisingly, I found that the "Harvard Law Review" accepted articles 25 pages or less that would be considered an "Essay" that advances an idea, summarizes a development, or initiates or engages in discussion. I assume that I would need some magic wizardry to get published in something so accomplished and worthy but they do select through anonymous submissions... Who knows?

Anyway, I will need to prepare an outline, chat with some other industry gurus and find out more information and facts. Looking forward to this new journey...

Other blogs to watch for

When I blog, I write about things that I feel are "relevant" to my life. For those who read the blog, I hope to provide some insight on my personal life, my worldly view and maybe once in a while provide people with a new or fresh perspective on things. For my close friends (and family) who I don't see often enough, mostly because they reside all over the world, I hope to give them a sense of "me" without the need for the phone call or personal email.

I read two blogs the other day that gave me pause and made me smile.

The first was reading a newbie blogger, a soon to be high school senior who is setting her sights on becoming a worthy journalist one day. Her blog has just begun and is likely the first of a million entries authored by her pen (or shall we say keyboard??). It is so exciting to see her record her thoughts and share those thoughts to others. She is is a unique girl who is wise beyond her age, with a heart of a shy soul who is longing to open her wings.

In the past year she has been our babysitter, one who has brought lots of joy to Bella and Alec and have calmed them into happily and contently having a smile even while Pieter and I leave the house to go enjoy the "outside" sans kids. I am proud of her courage to open her heart to write...I look forward to much more. Check out http://liveitloveitlearnit.blogspot.com and enjoy...

The other blog is my best friend's, my co-traveler on this plane of existence (and the next), and husband Pieter Bas. He started his own website/blog/dialogue page a few months ago, and it actually has lots of components, some blog like, some descriptive, and others reflections of his multifaceted character (woodworking and web design anyone?) He is in the midst of writing a book and I am so excited for myself and the world to see the culmination of all his efforts. His latest entry was eloquent, incredibly well written and has proven to me that his words will an amazing force to be dealt with...

I am so lucky that I can say he is mine. Love rocks. Check him out at: indigored.com

Learning from kids

These little kids teach me things when I least expect it. Case in point: Bella's prayers. So each morning we sing prayers together, or occasionally she sings them herself. The other day I cam downstairs scurrying around in the morning trying to rush through my morning routine of preparing her lunch, giving Alec and Bella breakfast, making my coffee, making my tea for my ride to work, and checking my blackberry for morning emails.

Anyway, I arrive downstairs and she was already ready with her sneakers on (sometimes a very long battle), brushed teeth and breakfast prepared (thanks P). That morning as we left the house I reminded her that we should say prayers. Well, she happily informed me she already said three of them. Wow...I was speechless. One is great, but three?

So later that day, Pieter told me that when he picked her up from school, she was very thrilled that her day was really good; so good in fact that she was not "in trouble" during circle time for talking. She told her teacher too. Her teacher said "yeah, you were good today..." Isabella told Pieter that she prayed for 3 things: ...One: that she wouldn't get in trouble today; two: that Mommy wouldn't be grumpy in the morning; and three: that Max would get better.

When he told me I was floored (for non English speakers, this phrase conveys awe and surprise) I was amazed partly because it was so refreshing that she could see a positive consequence to her prayerful attitude and state of mind; and partly because I could not believe she prayed that I wouldn't be grumpy. Hearing that was so humbling and led to some serious self-reflection.

I am a night person, and love to stay up late (hence the blogging at midnight etc.) So in the AM I am more focused on getting done the things I need to get done, without excess chatting, and frankly with as little distraction as possible...Am I happy? No. Am I a nice person to be with when I get up? Sadly, no. My best mornings are when I get up after a good night sleep, practice some yoga in the morning, drink some green tea and then carry the rest of my day with grace instead of restlessness. Uhhhh, how often do I do that?? Too embarrassed to mention and frankly too rare to even count.

I did however learn some lessons:

Lesson 1: Stop being so focused on myself and being grumpy. My little girl notices.
Lesson 2: She is amazing
Lesson 3: I love these kids more than I ever believed I'd have the capacity for...

I don't know how long it will take for me to unwind in the AM and get my restful smilely face on, but looking at these little kids sure makes it easier. (I'll brew some stronger coffee too)

Oh yeah, and the lesson from Alec? He is so full of love and affection I am at a loss for words. But he is not!

We were at the Pediatrician a few weeks ago for his 2 year check up (he was 26 months but who is counting?). Since Alec was only saying 20 words rather than 30-40 his doctor was a little concerned. So anyway, he tells us to wait until September, track his progress and then we will see if his slower speaking stage is caused by something else (such as hearing although we immediately thought that was not possible as Alec can track a plane with hearing the slightest sounds in the sky. My Mom is convinced he will be a pilot)

So as soon as we leave the doctor's office and every day since then... What happens? Alec starts saying every single word we say, Belllllla, Appl, Boooowl,caaar, two, mellllon, bottttle, cookie, weh weh (oh yeah, that is still not a word, but his word for licorice which he LOVES) and he doesn't stop.

Just when you think you know the stage they are in, they surprise you. I am beginning to really enjoy Motherhood. (did I actually just write that?)

Cool. (and Bon soir...)

Mirroring worlds

Here is a common Sunday afternoon, the fan blowing since the humidity has reached a real high point. I am viewing our verdant garden from our library, and things seem really nice.

Listening to Madeline Peyroux (very smooth stuff) and drinking raspberry seltzer with a splash of lime. Cool.

While I am sitting here though, I am wondering how the world is handling these recent implosions. Haifa was bombed, which is the World Administrative Center of the Bahai Faith, the place where close friends of ours live, visit and serve. But it doesnt stop there, North Korea talks are at a low point while the UN tries to muster enough objection to prevent a veto from China; 25% of all children need pills in summer camp (yup, check the NY times,kids at camps need pills for treating their ADD, psychiatric problems or mood disorders... this is our America folks); Beirut is being bombed extensively and for some it is payback, for others it is unjustified tactic; US & Moscow falter on their recent trade talks; oil is going up, pricier and yet another pinch on the global economy; and the world keeps on spinning.

In my little microcosm of a world, I had some nice news this week. It started while we visited Max and his family at their home, while Max is recuperating and living on the outside. It was great to see this little man, giving life a try and still pushing each moment through, with smiles, playing, watching "thomas the train" and extending friendship to Bella and Alec. I also spoke to Samira's family, adn heard that Samira's son Ellis is doing great and Samira is better, still grappling with her limitations but getting on okay. It is still miraculous that she is okay and I am so encouraged by her survival.

Oh yeah, I also got promoted from Area Counsel, Director to Vice President Senior Counsel. I really appreciate that part of my life, as I have great people to work with and I do believe that a part of me, the true me gets expressed through my work; both from the spirtual sense and creatively. I am thankful for that, and love the extra pennies it adds to our monthly purse strings.

But through this all, the world affects and worries me. How can I better be part of the solution, rather than add to the complaining, worrying and the do nothing folks? I need to think about it...

Until next time, peace, really.

how i spent my vacation

Green Acre

A place for friends, poetry, light and fulfillment

Meeting new souls with like minded hearts, so inspiring

Stories new, stories old over tea by the moonlight.

Children laughing, rolling down the greenest hills.

Sharing, encouraging, and strengthing our paths

As we all gaze at our Beloved, detached and knowing

That all will be all right, within His Trust...within His Trust.

Next Level Radio...and Merz

I am trying to keep my faith vibrant, despite some really tough hardships that my dearest friends are going through right now. But sometimes it is personally difficult to get the energy and laughter back so easily. My kids are always a source of inspiration, and for that I am utterly grateful.

I recently came across two things that I wanted to share that helped calm my soul and was a source of inspiration.

If you have 3 segments of 30 minutes available, please fill them up at least one of them by listening to one of 3 podcasts from www.nextlevelradio.org. This new podcast now with its 3rd broadcast now availabe, is brought to you by a one of my favorite people, Will Morrison the 7th. He is utterly unique, humble, kind and the most genuine type of guy (a son of a blacksmith, Computer geek AND a DJ..need I say more?).

Through his Pod cast, he is finding new ways to share developments on musicians, rappers, poets and rock bands who all have a positive world embracing message. Listening to Will and his interviews, selections of music and dialogue around spirituality and art is a true inspiration. Not only for me, but for other start-up artists who are wondering if their message counts. I hope Will keeps on broadcasting, I can't wait for number 4.

On the same note, I also re-discovered music that I am swept up into and have listened and re-listened over the past few weeks. Merz, led by a Bahai named Conrad Lambert is an artist that I cannot get enough of. His latest LP Silvertree which is available on ITUNES is soulful, absolutely intoxicating and melts my heart. Especially Dangerous Heady Love Scheme. He is amazing, just amazing. (by the way, the band Coldplay thinks so too! check out their review on his site at www.merz.co.uk)

Enjoy, and one other bit of news, little Max laughed today... some of the best news I have heard in a while.

Eternal hope.

I have a wonderful friend Samira,a beaming light like few others. She is joyful, energetic, deepened in her Faith, spiritual to the core and so fun to be with. I went to college with her and have known her since I was a teenager. She is the one who would accompany me to Chi Chi's to chat and eat chips when it was too tiring to study. We talked on endless nights about friendship, family, faith, guys, ideas of joy, of suffering...and we absolutely get each other, in an easy, no need to explain fashion. We also LOVED dancing to the Cure (Close to Me...)

Today I heard a story about her which brought me to tears because of the heartwrenching events that have unfolded in her life in the past week.

On a normal day, Samira, who is 8 months pregant, brought her 2 year old daughter home and unfastens her from the car seat to bring her daughter into her house. After she comes back outside she reaches to get her purse from inside the car, and the car starts to roll back while in park mode.

Samira was dragged down the hill with the car, and then was severely injured by the car as she had fallen and the car had ran her over. (!!!!, my mind cannot fully comprehend this last fact even now) With crushed ribs and collapsed lungs and many other internal injuries, she decided at that moment, laying on the street by her house, that if she didnt get up, that she would not survive. She some how got the superhuman strength to actually get to her neighbor's house and ring the bell.

After ringing the door bell of the neighbor, she asked them to keep an eye on her daughter...and to call 911. She was flown in a helicopter to the hospital.

Not only is she alive, but a miracle that she is and her new son is alive. Her baby was saved, despite a second by second life threatening operating procedure. The nurses, even with 23 years of experience called it a miracle baby and a miracle mom.

The little boy Ellis is now stronger and healthier than anyone could ever have anticipated, despite his first moments of life without any breath. Samira is in ICU, but is slowly getting a prognosis that seems to be a good one. The doctors, nurses, everyone, everywhere people are amazed, they are astonished at her miraculous survival and of her baby.

...Today after I heard the details of the accident, I couldnt help but to just cry, with both tears of joy that they are okay but also in a surreal sense of "Oh My God" my dearest friends are really suffering. First little Max, and now this incredulous event of Samira and her new baby boy. What do I do with this information? How do I compute this data into my life? These are people who are pushing beyond their means, they are absolutely courageous and treading on a path which tests their resolve, their life force and their ability to face life in the darkest hours. It makes me think of who we are, and the smallness of our lives.

A single moment can change our lives and shock us out of our limited sense of reality in a heartbeat.

I extend my deepest love, prayers and hope to my friends who are suffering beyond my worst nightmares as their events unfold before their eyes. But I still believe that they continue this fight because it is not yet over. Some how we are given these trials but I refuse to believe that we are alone. We are never left alone and even though the wisdom of the suffering may not be clear to us now, we have to trust, have faith, grab hold to our sense of reality and shift and move in the direction flexibily enough so we can somehow God willing, emerge wiser, stronger and maybe even victorious.

"O My servants! Sorrow not if, in these days and on this earthly plane, things contrary to your wishes have been ordained and manifested by God, for days of blissful joy, of heavenly delight, are assuredly in store for you. Worlds, holy and spiritually glorious, will be unveiled to your eyes. You are destined by Him, in this world and hereafter, to partake of their benefits, to share in their joys, and to obtain a portion of their sustaining grace."

-Bahá'u'lláh