Birthdays, Benedryl & Irish Bahá'í's

Isabella turned a big 5 this weekend. I can hardly believe this age has hit her already. Somehow i can STILL remember her birth, all 48 hours of it. Anyway, suffering (birth included) usually begets joy. Bella is no exception. She is very sweet and full of magnetic energy. The picture to the left is taken from Isabella's Montessori class and celebration of her birthday. They celebrate it in a very imaginative way. First the teacher explains that in 2001 Isabella was born, and then as holds the Earth, she walks forming a circle around a candle surrounded by the 12 months of the year. As she walks around the months, the class sings: "And the earth went around the sun, tra la, the earth went around the sun tra la la." for each year that she is on this Earth. Another way of seeing time, through the years of a child. A wonderful time and thanks to Carla making brownies, the kids enjoyed the whole celebration. : )

Later that day...

It was my 9th injection of allergy shots, meant to clear my immune system of the reactive negative histimines that are created when I am exposed to every tree, weed and dander this side of the US.

What happened? I waited for 20 minutes (okay a little shorter than 20) drove away in my car and went back to work for a conference call on a contract rewrite for CA that would take several hours. On my way back to work, I felt the same irritation that I always do; a slight localized itching and a general sense of discomfort. Well, this time, it did not go away. 20 minutes later, I was in my office with a major systemic reaction to my shots. Great...what a way to start a weekend. 25 mgs of Benedryl about one hour later and I felt much better but not without first feeling the strangest hives itchiness and swelling plus throat irritation that reminded me of the allergy scene in HITCH the movie. Well, it is over and happily even though I was sleepy for the rest of day due to the medicine, I was fine. One little note, my allergy shots are now going to take longer since they are decreasing the dosage going forward. This means that for the next month or so, I will have to continue my shots on a weekly basis, this time with more caution and pre-medicatioon. Maybe by Spring I'll know if it is worth it.

Later that night...

Pieter and I were invited to a memorial for Adib Taherzadeh, an inspiring teacher of the Bahá'í Faith, a former member of the Universal House of Justice and a bonafide Irishman (he settled there in the 50's as a pioneer and teacher of the Bahá'í Faith). His grandson lives nearby and held a special memorial for him. In addition to the wonderful tea and home made cake, (yum yum) he told special stories about his personal relationship with him and also shared an excerpt of a talk given to the Irish Bahá'í community back in 1998... To hear about how the first Bahá'ís that settled into Ireland, a small community that has now grown to hundreds...makes me think of possibilities here in Hillsborough. It was wonderful and inspiring, providing a sweet end to a hectic day.

Ayn Rand's favorite poem

Pieter often reminds me that its not the what in writing, but the how. Here is a great poem that I found on a site that someone noted was Ayn Rand's favorite...enjoy.

" If " by [Joseph] Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

wishes for a safe flight

Hi there world. I am now a little sickie suffering from a type of cold, flu antibiotic requiring ailment. Not so bad though as this week is a slightly slower week than usual at my work. I can actually work from home for a day or two while I sniff away, drink some more green tea and blow into the newest types of tissues created for man's consumption (antibacterial, antiviral, anti anything sick type tissues).

I am amazed that it has been snowing, raining, sunny and now raining again all within a matter of a few days. What is it with this weather???? I hate to raise the "duhhhhh" factor regarding global warming, but it seems significant and obvious almost on a daily basis. I did see a new commerical last night on the new Lexus hybrid. Is that good? A luxury SUV that is also claiming to be environmentally friendly? Or is this another marketing ploy to those of us who care to listen. Anyway, hopefully these weather events around the world are creating a stir...for a change towards the better that is.
As the weather is fluctuating, my hope is that air travel will not be affected, well, I better say a prayer on that. Some relatives will be flying this week.

This Saturday, Carolina (P's mom) will be flying in from her home in Driebergen Holland to visit!! Very excited, happy and looking forward to seeing her once again here in NJ. She will be here only for a 3 week visit. Funny how we find that so short. Years ago, a 10 day visit seemed just right. Yet she is so much part of our family, we have all missed her and will enjoy seeing her again. I have already been saving movies to see with her. (And some new games to play that we recieved for xmas...)

Also, my mother is flying to Pakistan. I will not go into details about why, since it will make this a sadder post than I am willing to share right now, but I am keeping her in my prayers that she and her husband will be safe and return healthy and unharmed. I am so aware that they are not really in the midst of danger while they are in their birthplace, but I am still some what concerned over the unexpected injustices that can arise in Pakistan, especially when the damage can be created from within or from elsewhere.

Anyway, wishes for a safe journey, and a safe landing to those we so dearly love...

He has been to the mountaintop, the promised land...

Before I begin publishing my random thoughts, I wanted to take notice that yesterday was the commemoration for Dr. Martin Luther King. A man who lived and taught through example. I heard a recording of him on the radio of his speech soon before he was killed. I was so moved by his passion, candor, dedication, strength, courage and intensity. I am reminded that one person can move so many people, what made Mr. Martin Luther King so brave? Why did he favor peace, and how did he sustain his belief while many opposed him. What creates that fire that outlasts his life? I have a theory, that his words and life brought us closer to the truth, closer to the potential of where we can be, and it creates a spiritual connection that cannot but touch so many of us.

I think we all can see a glimmer of the strength of the human character, and recognize when it shines. Sad that his life was cut short, unjustly ending another chapter in human heroism, those who fought beyond themselves and aided humanity to move forward.

Proudly waging war

In the NY times, Nicholas Kristof suggests a new concept for our political leaders, to wage a war on poverty. Switch the efforts from the war in Iraq, to global poverty... His article blends the ideas of seeking to help people in other areas of the world despite no major disaster, despite no major famous stars advocating aid due to the tsunami, earthquake but simply just because. (See NY Times Waging a War we could be proud of, January 10, 2006, by Nicholas D. Kristof)

His article focused on 3 elements,
-Wiping out malaria
(two million people a year die from this unnecessarily)

-Cutting maternal mortality in half
(Since some of the countries such as Honduras and Sri Lanka have proven methods to cut mortality in half, it does not seem to be logical to allow more than 500,000 women die yearly in pregnancy and childbirth...)

-Educating girls
(this would result in obvious positive consequences, Kristof notes that jobs and healthier children would result and the right to complain regarding injustices. His point is valid and in addition educating girls would empower women to resist oppression, an important issue and an ignored one for too long)

Wow what a concept! If we just push this example further, could you imagine if we only started a war on illiteracy, war on oppression, war on inequality?? My mind is soaring to the possibilities. Anyway, just had to mention this article and praise the efforts of Mr. Kristof, for attempting to realign the world's (or based on his suggestion the US's) efforts on something that could shift humanity's condition for the better.

Holding off ...

'Not everything that a man knoweth can be disclosed, nor can everything that he can disclose be regarded as timely, nor can every timely utterence be considered as suited to the capacity of those who hear it.'

- Bahá'u'lláh, Gleanings, LXXXIX

Thanks to my friend who posted this on another blog as a comment. I was looking for this quote today in fact because I learned a hard lesson that I shall not (cannot) soon forget.

A difficult but wonderful conversation took place today, about how a person's "intent" is not always important in finding out the truth of the matter. Instead, the impact of the words, actions etc. could have such an impact that despite the intent, the effect on someone else is true, felt.

An analogy that comes to mind is a canvas that a person desires to paint. Scenerio 1: When you arrive in a room with a blank canvas, it is empty, and painting vivid, dark, bright, pastel, or black colors are open to you, and can be reflected directly onto the page, no interuption, no unintended effects. Scenerio 2: Same person walks into a room, and instead of a blank canvas, there are several in the room with each having its own hues, colors, depth, tones and expressions. These canvases are people who are thinking about their own thoughts, living their lives from their perspectives and we enter the room waiting and ready to paint. Scenerio 3: Person walks into the room, but now the group is a close knit group, or a close conversation between two people, the canvases merge, the colors become united, exhanging truths with each other. If we ignore what we see when we get there and each of the three scenerios are not distinguishes we may impose our colors so easily onto the canvas in front of us, we may forget which situation we have, are we expressing alone, as part of a group, or merged into a close conversation where the painting could then have a strong unintended impact.

If I am triggered to be defensive, or feel I can put forth a point or opinion, I use my persuasive reasoning and strongly advocate my position passionately. Sometimes, it is the only way I know how to express my truth. I in my expression bring colors of vivid reds, blues, shooting yellows, and I am feeling completely empowered to do so. Why? It is my expression, my truth, my sincere contribution, with lets assume no mal-intent.

However, what I never realized before today, is that when I shoot those colors, I am adding to the joint canvas between me and this other person...if they had colors of beige, purple, pinks, pastels, I covered them all with my powerful hues. What happened? Well, maybe the canvas that contained oranges and light pinks, are now brown. Their canvas had no way of surviving my colorful wrath.(!!) Frankly, I never stopped to really look.

The effect can be varied, from hurt, confusion, quiet compliance, enjoyment, agreement or retort. I used to think it didnt matter, because my intent was never to cover their colors, it was only to express mine (innocently I thought).

Now, I want to change that. I want to be cognizant of these other realities, considerate of other colors, canvases, and feelings. Not to always push my own views and energies onto everyone else. I'd like to convert the automatic reaction to a pause and gently maybe deliberately cause my colors to show in the right time, in the right place, when it can or should be recieved. A little more humility never hurt anyone. : ) (hey per the blog entry before this one, it looks like the "wish" for a keener sense of consiousness has been granted to me at least)

a wish

How do you celebrate New Year's? Well, Pieter and I decided to have a quiet evening with a few friends. The funny thing was, it turned out to be a night with 21 friends, children and some babies. Oh boy. It was a nice night, unexpected, spontaneous and crazy at times, but a good new years to add to our growing list.

It all started when I met Pieter, we went to Paris during our first year New Year's Eve together and actually saw Pulp Fiction en francais. Its where I learned that "honey bunny" was in fact lapin sucre in French. What a discovery...I would use that phrase several times when talking to P after that movie. Sigh, smile.

Over the years, we have been to Belgium, Israel, NY City, Holland...and of course, NJ. On the 31st as we approached 2006 friends who were Dutch, Icelandic, Persian-Philapino, Persian-Indian, Pakistani, American and a mix of all the above were over. We celebrated, ate food, got the kids to fall asleep, and sat around our library table chatting and getting to know each other better over meatballs, falafel, and some toasty onion soup that happily got rave reviews.

Pieter and I suggested to the group (before the midnight hour) that we have a roundtable offering. Not of our own resolutions, or personal goals, but rather and instead, a wish for the world. A time to recall all the events that struck the less fortunate around us and to hope or to wish that the coming year would be bringing hope, possibility and maybe a wish that would come true. With that, we suggested that each person make a wish, not for themselves, but for the world and humanity in general. This was the reply:

"Wishes for..."

...more mysticism for more people
...more truthfullness and capacity to recognize it
...more interacial/intercultural integration
...a keener sense of shame or conciousness
...to play more with puppies,
...a greater acknowledgement of issues around us
...that children are truly loved and cared for
...to enjoy more and to share more love
...more respect in the world
...for shops to close more often to have time to enjoy life
...that children are warm, happy, and safe
...that a King or Queen becomes more noble, have the courage to change their agenda towards good and actually follow through despite political pressures
...for equality
...that the world can make wishes themselves

After we reflected, offered a few prayers and listened to some inspiring tunes. We then watched the countdown (caught the final 24 seconds) on TV so that especially our Icelandic vistors could catch the famous ball that drops on Times Square. We then hung out until about 3 AM...That was our New Year's Eve 2005-2006. With that beginning, I look forward to what 2006 will bring.

If inspired (or almost inspired), please add a wish and add a comment to this blog. Looking forward to hearing from you, and before I forget, Happy New Year :-)

Peace

This is a nice time of year. Perhaps in some ways more than most because so many people, despite their religious background, or cultural upbringing, share, smile more and seem to think about peace and wishes for everyone. Peace can be a funny overused word, but frankly, I think it suits me just fine. As a person who believes in global change and a true sense of peace between human beings, I find the wish almost too hard to fathom. But at least I know we all have to start somewhere, and if wishes on the holidays are where we start to think a little differently, maybe our hearts will begin to transform. The following is a poem that Pieter found recently. Enjoy...

If there is to be peace in the world,
There must be peace in the nations.
If there is to be peace in the nations,
There must be peace in the cities.
If there is to be peace in the cities,
There must be peace between neighbors.
If there is to be peace between neighbors,
There must be peace in the home.
If there is to be peace in the home,
There must be peace in the heart.
Lao-Tse

Hibernation Day?

It was Hibernation Day at Bella's school today. What did that mean? She had to wear pajamas to school. But, as a busy working rush around Mom, I had no idea that it was today. It was in the far corners of my mind, but definitely not in my thoughts this morning. So as I pulled up to school, we were about to enter the building, when our friend Nancy (who brings her daughter to school) said "Hi Nishat, everyone is in pjs today!" My first thought was, was her SUV filled with her kids in PJ's?? So I looked very confused, and she clarified...It was hibernation day today.

1...2....3...

"Mommy...(sniff sniff) why did you put my clothes out today ?? (tears flooding her face)... I dont have pajamas!!!!" she slowly but surely cried and required some serious tissue to clean up the mess that was made on her cold congested crying nose...

This was my mistake. Although I did attempt hopelessly to use logic and justify the fact that it was way too cold to wear PJS when it was winter outside, it was to no avail. As I walked in class, I realized and remembered the sometimes akward insecure feelings when I was in school and I really disliked ever being the odd one out.

So, with determined resolve, I called work that I'd be late, drove back home and brought her the pajamas. When i arrived, she asked me whether I brought the pajamas SHE really wanted...i.e. The Hello Kitty ones.

I had...and the most wonderful hugest smile lit up her face. "Thanks Mommy"

Sometimes, it means more to me to do the little things that may be little in context, but huge in someone elses eyes. That was a good moment.

By the way, I have been checking out a cool group out of Holland that focuses on Brazillian music with a semi Persian lead singer who is also a very cool beautiful person that Pieter and I know from the Dutch Bahai Community. Funky diverse eh?? Anyway, check out their site for cool sounds from Europe...www.dirindi.com

sadness and love at the same time

I just finished reworking two legal contracts agreements and took a shower as I am all lawyered out and thought i should make some comments before my head hits the pillow. I heard some news today, something that really saddened me, and some wonderful news at the same time.

News 1: I heard from a long time friend/spiritual sister today. This woman entered my life back in 1985 when I started my 10th grade in my new high school in North Brunswick, NJ. She was in my English class, and was the only other woman of color that I could see. At the time, I was not a global citizen yet, only a child of experienced racism and prejudice struggling to find friends in this new school of new strange faces. I was seeking a friendly face who would "get" who I was despite teh fact that I was a new kid in town.

She became a great friend, confidant, fellow-undisciplined student (only at times, :)) and remains to this day, one of the closest souls that I can be happy to call my friend, without condition, without regard to circumstance, without regard to any changing winds that we may go through. She is solid. I am thrilled that we are back in touch and had to acknowledge to my blog readers that sometimes, getting back in touch with those people that we love or once loved is a good thing.

News 2: Its not fair that the innocent people have to still get unjustly treated... Mr. Dhabihu'llah Mahrami, a man with deep brown eyes and sensitive features revealing a gentle man was wrongly jailed in Iran in 1995 for the plain unfancy fact that he is a Bahai.

On Thursday, 15 December 2005, ten years later, despite the international outcry regarding a death sentence back in 1999 who's freedom and release was supported by many governments and the international press, died in his prison cell of unknown causes. This was from a report by the Bahai International Community.

"... His death comes amidst ominous signs that a new wave of persecutions of Baha'is has begun. This year so far, at least 59 Baha'is have been arrested, detained or imprisoned, a figure up sharply from the last several years...Mr. Mahrami is survived by his aged mother, his wife, his four children, and his grandchildren."

This news really saddens my heart. Although I can see that his death will not be in vain, it is just another example of stuff in this world that I wish, just wish would not have to happen, no matter the reasons, the benefits of the impact or any other purposes that may be shown to be relevant to this event in the future. He was 58, the same age as my Father when he died; and close to my husband's father we he passed. They were loved, free, and still dearly missed. How Mr. Mahrami's family must feel, not even saying goodbye, unable to communicate, and harshly aware of the dangers facing him everyday. May they find their solace, peace and contentment through their confusion, bewilderment and yearning. My prayers are with them.

So now I have revealed the sadness that I expereinced today, as well as the tenderness, closeness and goodness of a friendship. I am still feeling sad and happy at the same time, I guess its because my heart is deeply affected by both these events.

Plus, I am really tired, which I am sure impacts my clarity of mind...anyway, I do hope those reading this are free, full of love (or at least half full...) and can reach out to their friends too. It might make the unjust events that happen in this world, a little more bearable.