Discovery...

Alec turned 2 nine days ago. He is a cutie pie who lights up my life with every funny glance, sad look, demanding sounds and when he says "Hooo hoooo" whenever he sees a train. He is on a path of discovery with everything, and it is incredible to witness it. Every bird, dog, plane, big truck excites him and he just follows them, even says hello, and good bye (I try not to worry when he pets little dogs, and big dogs...)

I hope his discovery will never end.

I am currently thinking a lot of about discovery, and self-knowledge. By coicidence, or maybe by design, this coming Saturday Pieter and I will host another "Spiritual Cafe" and the theme will be independent investigation of truth.

As preparation for the Spiritual Cafe meeting, I came up with a few questions that popped up in my mind as content rich for the discovery question.

How much of life have you chose, how much is chosen for you?

What does it mean to see truth independently?

Do you think about your actions?

Have you found your reason for living?

How many people have researched the religion they were "born" in, instead of just being without knowing?

Is your life your own, or is it mirroring someone else's dreams?

What is truth?

Have you ever searched for it?

Do you want to?

Should you?

How?

The last question is in my mind, as I have had a similar question-answer dialogue with someone very close to me, and it is a hard answer. If a person is willing to search and find their reason of being, what and how do they do it? Reading? Experiencing? Living?

Maybe just trying a bit each day and learning something new each day with an attitude of discovery is more important than the wisdom gained in the process.

Recently, I saw a clip on Oprah that was inspiring. A 98 year old man after a life of illeteracy finally decided to learn how to read. A ninety-eight year old man. Not 40, 55, or even 70 but 98. Wow. The phrase Your are never too old to learn, imprinted in my mind as a great example to tell anyone who is afraid to learn new things.

I guess this proves that we humans have a true capacity to learn, discover and gain new insights whether we are 2 or 98. Wonderful that this is an everlasting quest, as long as we want it (and believe it).

Beauty in the breakdown.

Pieter and I took Bella and Alec to the Sculpture Garden in Hamilton NJ and we hung out, walked through the park, viewed sculpures, danced around them and had a really nice time.

This is a great unexpected result, since taking kids to anywhere can always be unpredictable. Plus, when we read about the gardens on the Internet, it seemed very strict and foreboding "no talking loud, this is a contemplative space, no running..."



So, we took our chances, cut up some apple to bring for a snack, loaded up on cups and waters for the kids as Pieter and I filled up our mugs to bring fresh fair trade coffee (thanks Bradley!)as we drove over there. Luckily, the kids were as excited and happy to see the art as we had hoped. Anyway, after we got there, we first went to a water sculpture area, saw a live peacock much to our surprise, and continued on our journey, spotting secret service men looking statues, abstract pieces that just make you say hmmmmmm, animals, nature pieces and more. Each one was fitted around nature, surrounded by grass, trees, and or near water as if the nature was half of the show. Plus since the weather was absolutely gorgeous, the whole event was sun filled, cool weather and perfect for walking.

There were so many moments of watching the kids view this stuff for the 1st time, asking questions of how it sculptures are put together, posing queries on what "marble" is, or how a something looks as if it is flying. I think that Pieter and I were gathering their comments in our mind's collection of moments to keep: "Wow loooooook at that..."I wish I could hop scotch on it!" or Alec amazed and growling at a sculpture dog.

Most of the day was filled with these moments, observing their faces, laughing at their expressions of surprise, awe of nature, art and the world in general.

Cool.

Tickets to Sculpture gardens: 36 dollars
Price of map and guidebook: 3 dollars
Price of the apple and water bottles: 2 dollars.
Watching your kids dancing like a sculpture...Priceless.

The rides.

Has anyone ever gone on a "Tower of Terror" or an "Aerosmith rock roller coaster"?? I did, at the famous Disney World MGM studios last week. I was there on business for the annual "sales kickoff" in Orlando, Florida. As part of the IP legal team, we had a break out session, but took part in the huge events at night. So I actually went on a Star Wars ride, watched a 3D movie starring the Muppets, entered the Tower of Terror elevator drop, drop again, and drop again and cautiously closed my eyes while I took a ride on the Aerosmith roller coaster. Hint, closing your eyes during a turn twisty ride is NOT good for the balance. At the end of the night, I was NOT pleased.

I kept on asking my friends and colleauges there, why do we as Americans create this type of self-contrived thrill contraptions...what is it about US that can build, spend tons of money and forget about the world at large, creating menu choices of an array of rides, thrills and terror?

I got some interesting responses,
1) the Americans are bored;
2) We have "so little time" to vacation so it is important to escape!
3) "Why not??"
4) silence

I am not sure if there is one answer, though I suspect it has to do with our consumption attitude and ability to provide a supply a demand for fun unlike anywhere else. I do not want to judge this at all, and frankly I heard TONS of people enjoy themselves, laugh like crazy and just relaxed with the hazy reality that set in. I did feel that the "Disney World" experience is similar to living through a spectactular Broadway musical all day and night. Watching a show...being part of the show and never leaving the audience. I guess this is what the place is about.

One day, I may bring Isabella and Alec to Disney World so Pieter and I can introduce them to the vast playground. I cannot see spending more than a few days, but experiencing how our culture relates to the phenomenon of vacation is at the very least highly intriguing. But only after I show them my world...

We will have to see NY (sooner than later as we are planning a trip to Central Park this spring), Paris, France, the place I adore ever since I studied in France in 1989, we will definitely visit family and all our 'gezellig' places in Holland (next summer if all goes well), my family's heritage in Pakistan (Pieter and I are aiming for within the next 2-3 years), the Bahá'í Houses of Worship (the Lotus temple in New Dehli, India is on the top of our list after the one in Chicago) and Haifa, at the Bahá'í world center, where Pieter and I went for Pilgrimage back in 97. That place had the greatest ride of all, a spiritual one, but everlasting and definitely beyond this world.

Dear Congressman

There are few people who wield enough power collectively and individually that can move this nation into action. This is the reason I am writing you, and I hope that you will listen.

On March 20, a confidential letter of the Iranian Government was made public by the U.N. Special Rapporteur on Freedom of Religion or Belief. Based on this letter, it has become known that the Iranian government will be tracking the whereabouts of 300,000 Iranian Bahá’ís (largest religous minority in Iran) and will be monitoring their activities.

This is an alarming step that will possibly evolve in a systematic increase of persecutions of Bahá’ís. In the not so distant past, the Iranian government has committed grave crimes against the Iranian Bahá’ís, denial of higher education, removal of voting rights, torture, desecration of cemetaries,unjustified imprisonment, and murder. Justification was spun into baseless allegations that the Bahá’í Faith is a threat to the wellbeing of the Iranian government. The true basis? Religious hatred by Islamic fundamentalists who view the Bahá’í Faith as a threat to Islam particularly because the progressive position on women's rights, independent investigation of truth, and education.

I most respectfully urge you to review this issue thoroughly, discuss it with your fellow Congressmen, encourage a dialogue and contact others. Let the United States take a strong stand and raise a call to Iran to STOP the oppressive treatment and of the Bahá’ís.

This is a plea, not because I am myself an Iranian Bahai,not because I have been tortured or imprisoned by that country. I am simply a female American, born and raised in this country, who found out about the Bahá’í Faith during high school who found that actually it was possible to find a religion that demonstrated in deeds not words that elimination of all prejudice, world peace, equality for women and men, universal education, harmony of science and religion, no clergy, independent search for truth to see truth through my own eyes and not judged by others, was actually written within the precepts of a world wide religion with six million other souls.

A religion that engenders love, tolerance and utter and complete respect for every world religion today and in the past. How else could every Bahá’í temple have 9 sides representing each world faith and the physical unity of all religions?? This is my religion, this is my faith and it is unfair, unjust and completely insane that 300,000 believers in another country have to suffer for finding the same belief and who want but are threatened to practice this faith.

Please help.

White House reaction...

Here is an excerpt of an article published by the Bahai World News Service:
WASHINGTON, 29 March 2006 (BWNS) -- At the 28 March 2006 White House press briefing, Spokesman Scott McClellan said President George Bush is concerned over last week's announcement by a UN official that government persecution of the Baha'is in Iran is intensifying.

In response to a reporter's question, Mr. McClellan called on the Iranian regime to respect the religious freedom of all of its citizens and indicated the President would continue to monitor the situation of the Baha'is very closely. He also said the United States would continue to speak out and urge other countries in the region and the United Nations to defend the rights of the Baha'is and other religious minorities in Iran.

Q: What pressure would you urge, perhaps, other countries to put on Iran?

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, I think we will talk with ambassadors of other countries in the region and raise this issue with them, and with their governments. We will continue to speak out and to raise this issue, the treatment of the Baha'is, in the United Nations and other organizations, and to ask all those who have any sort of influence in Tehran to continue to defend the rights of the Baha'i and other religious minorities.

The full transcript of the March 28 White House press briefing is available at www.whitehouse.gov/news/briefings.

Writer's block...for a good cause

I need to write to the Senate and House of Representatives to inspire, ask or to simply demand that they take action for the latest developments coming out of Iran regarding the threats posed to Iranian Bahá’í community. I want to send them a letter asking them to help, because they, unlike most people, can actually do something about it. The situation in Iran is getting worse. The newspapers within that country are enabling articles and ads that harbor hate and create an illusion that the Bahá’ís are at fault or should be blamed for something. Perhaps all the recent pressure from the US or Europe regarding the Iranian Governments most extreme comments have spurred the Iranians to find a scape goat, and maybe the Bahá’í's are an easy target. Soldiers of peace usually are, and as history has shown, the Iranian government has been unfortunately very fond of trying to destroy the Bahá’ís.

Everytime I sit down to write the letter(s), I am unsure how I should present these issues. My day job requires me to write constantly, define situations, negotiate issues, clarify grey areas and to wield my pen to create a snapshot of the final concepts of the negotiated deal on paper; often for a multi-million dollar deal.

But now? How do I express something so close to my heart, to someone I do not know? And this person is a real potential powerhouse who can create legislation, push an agenda and possibly inspire international action...

Well, maybe it is more about the heart and weaving the right sentiment rather than the perfect words...(to be continued)

Oppression in Iran continues...

I was reading an article published by Bahá'í World about a re-emergence of threats to Bahá'ís in Iran. (the link to an overview of Bahai persecution is available by clicking the title above). In summary, it said that the the UN Special Rapporteur on freedom of religion or belief was very concerned about a confidential letter sent last Fall by a high level military official of the Armed Forces in Iran to many government agencies stating that a new instruction is issued to monitor and keep tabs on all members of the Bahá'í faith. This notice serves as likely proof that they will increase persecutions and discrimination against Bahá'ís in Iran. Just like they did in the 70's 80's and 90's.

Already the Bahá'ís are barred from seeking higher education, what will they gain from knowing about every single Bahá'í in the country? Who knows when this will stop. Especially if the target based on the confidential letter is aimed at all Bahá'ís in Iran, which numbers the largest religious minority in the country (350K).

The basis? Religious hatred by Islamic fundamentalists who view the Bahá’í Faith as a threat to Islam. Based on the article above, "...The progressive position of the Faith on women’s rights, independent investigation of truth, and education has particularly rankled Muslim clerics."

I am reading about these events and shudder to think how more people will go through even more injustice, lose their rights to go to school, lose their lives, family, dignity etc. More of the same. This happened before...

About a month ago we had a visitor from California, a wonderful smart graceful woman who is a truly radiant person. Pieter and I ended up sharing many late nights with her raising issues that were insightful, deep and inspiring at the same time. From my perspective, I felt like she understood so much about me, what experiences we both suffered through and had in common...and yet lived such different lives. Anyway, her family was from Iran, and even though they lived in the US after leaving Iran and unable to return after the revolution, her father did. When he arrived back to reclaim his home, possessions, memories, he was imprisoned and could not come home. They did not know when or if they would ever see him again. Many years passed before he was ever released, after going through hell being moved from prison to prison, never knowing if he will live, see his family again or see the light of day.

This was not a story from a revolutionary time from long ago, this is recent, this 21st century global civilization with the Internet, blogger's, intertwined economy binding ties among countries, peoples and lifestyles. This was not just another movie reflecting what could happen in things got worse.

I watched V for Vendetta about a futuristic Britian that was run by a dictator aiming to keep unity and peace in a nation through creatively spinning the media, intolerance, injustice and at times murder torture and imprisonment. In walks in the Guy Fawkes mask wearing revolutionary (or terroist depending on your view) who attempts to knock sense into complacent masses of society who sense the injustice but who feel powerless until this symbol of rebellion awakes their collective self-conscience.

As I reviewed the critics of the film, I found some who loved it and praised the film, and others who vehemently found it far fetched, lacking depth and integrity. It occurs to me, that the "far fetched" concept is just not so far off...

I am not sure what the impact of this new development in Iran will come to light. If the past poses any insight, there may be many more friends of ours who will suffer as a result of this newly charged enthusiasm against the Bahá'ís. However, I have to retain hope that the Bahá'í international Community (the NGO I interned during my second year of law school that taught me amazing lessons about diplomacy, injustice and how to tactfully defend human rights) will be assisted by several governments and organizations that will demand that further human right violations on a people of a religion that is based on world peace, be stopped, prevented and removed as an agenda item of that country.

Water...

I recently watched the movie Constant Gardener, with Ralph Fiennes, a movie adapted and directed by Fernando Meirelles (directed "City of God") from a book by John LeCarre. It was a thriller about a few individuals that tried to stop a pharmaceutical company and its Government backers from conducting fatal drug-testing on several African (nameless) victims in the name of corporate profits.

The acting was great, and one of the main characters was a woman named Tessa,(played by Rachel Weiss who won an Academy Award for her performance) a cheerful, energetic, passionate person who could not let go of the oppression, injustice and blind eyes that so many others were taking to the situation. I was applauding her...but her insistence on giving the victims a voice cost her life. It was a well directed movie that presented yet another view on how corporate profiteering and nationalistic pursuits can run along a very dangerous, hurtful path.

One part of the movie was not fiction. The filming of the villages was not contrived. The "sets" where the film took place was based on and actually created from real-life settings, no extras needed, no creation of thatched roofs, no planned landscapes that reflected lack of vegetation or water. It was already there.

As the features of the DVD revealed the footage taken in Kenya, it was amazing to see that there are whole villages where no water or septic systems or electricity is present. No water, no facilities for plumbing, no electrical outlets for the IPOD.

This impression of the realities of these villages impacted me more than I anticipated. I am not sure why now, but somehow, with this story fresh in my mind it hit home.

How lucky I found myself in my own situation, living in the part of the world where electricity, water, everything is in uber-abundance. The endless hot showers, the dishwashing of dishes (even if the dishwasher is not full), the lights left on in the house when no on is in the room. By the way, I all of sudden have been more cognizant of how I can personally contribute. I just feel so silly I never really thought about it more. I don't like sterotypes, but I wonder if my thoughtlessness qualifies for being so "American".

Just to see where the world is on this issue, here is a disturbing irony (thanks Pieter for finding this...):

One of the U.N. Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) is to halve, by 2015, the proportion of people without sustainable access to drinking water and sanitation, but the United Nations says this may not be achieved. Why? Not enough money to sustain the goal.

The United Nations estimates that it would cost $6.7 billion a year to
meet MDG targets on water and sanitation - compared to the $17 billion spent by Europe and the United States annually on pet food.

Wow. Why can't we get our priorities straight???

Alec's turn

So a quick update on the situation. Alec is now in the middle of his illness as well. Took him to the Doctor yesterday, (thank God we found the BEST pediatricians only 4 minutes away from our house; both of them have been our absolute savior the day after Alec was born...we were referred to them in the Princeton hospital after Alec was born). Anyway, Alec's doctor who is also Bella's saw the same symptoms, and got the same medication. Its funny though, because Alec gets HIGHLY annoyed when he is sick and just overall gets frustrated. The pic posted was taken this morning. He is not happy. Bella meanwhile is trying to find her sunshine again. Two kids, different styles.

By the way, I have also been sick due to my own sinus infection but have been very slow in recovery because of the sleepless nights. However, I am steering clear of self-pity. I tried it yesterday and not much helped. I took off from work sick (rarity) and through all the doctor visits, clean ups of the kid's accidents (Alec threw up 3 times, once at the Dr. once at the store, and once in the parking lot)I was resorting to a lot of feeling bad for myself. "How can I rest while these kids are sick?" "How is this fasting period any good for me when I have to eat to get better?" "I would love to go to NY city with Pieter and hang out in a cafe again..." The last thought is always present on my mind, during sickness or health.

Today I feel better, it is a sunny Saturday, the kids are slowly recuperating and I realize that my own pity feelings will not get me to feel better, in fact quite the opposite. So instead, I'll go slowly, moment by moment, enjoy a sip of coffee, and hopefully get some rest that I needed. Or at least sit outside a bit and get some vitamin D.

1 more thing, I guess at times, these limitations can still help us learn new things. I need to "reframe" this situation, see it differently and hopefully retain the contententment and even happiness for this weekend. I will end this rambling thought with a quote from Marcel Proust: "The real voyage of discovery consists not in making new landscapes but in having new eyes."

Physical limitations

Today is March 7th I think. We had a great weekend, a wonderful Spiritual Cafe about faith and religion. It was another long night that lasted until about 1 AM. We had 12 people in all, and I felt really blessed at the end of it all wondering how lucky we are to hear from so many people and to dialogue about stuff that mattered.

This weekend, although special was also focused a bit on illness. I had a sinus infection, Isabella was coughing a lot, Alec seemed to be fine, but kept on drinking from Bella's water and made me worry about the consequence. Anyway it turns out that on Monday when we took Bella to the doctor, she has bronchitis. This is not a new thing, as she has had this many times before. I just wish it was less often. It seems since she was 6 days old, Pieter and I are holding on to our seats waiting for the next diagnosis, ear infections, small nasal passage, virus, bronchitis, roseola, even Coxsackie virus. I guess it isnt surprising that she tells me that she wants to be a doctor (and a lawyer, a baker, a singer and a writer...)

Oh yeah I watched the Academy Awards on Sunday. This has been my little tradition that my tolerant patient husband joins me in. He is really sweet to be there with me and to cheer when people get recognized for their acheivements. Anyway, Pieter and I were pretty psyched that "Crash" won. Most of the movies we generally miss in the theatre due to the kid/baby factor, but a few end up in our DVD player or even a movie theatre once every 6 months. Of the ones we did see we loved Crash and Syrianna, both of which were excellent; the actors were stellar, the story lines intense and the perspective they provided on current day society was refreshing, sad and piercing. Cool stuff.

Well, now 2 of us are on medication (myself and Bella thus far) and tonight I am taking care of Isabella and Alec. Isabella has vomited 7 or 8 times today already. My sweet Bella. Not much I can do except to just be there, hold away her hair while she resigns to her fate. This is the quietest time for her. She neither complains or cries. She just seems to accepts her fate in a contented manner. Well, actually to be more precise, she really does not understand WHY she has to be sick so much. The impact on her life is hitting her closer to home. My heart broke yesterday when I heard that she cried for about 30 minutes straight yesterday because she had to miss her very first swimming lesson. This was something she was looking forward to and counting the days for the past month (really).

Tonight I offered her a popsicle shaped like a crayon to hydrate her, and she said no. She is afraid of vomiting again. I'll let her rest, as she is watching Heffalump, OOPS NOW IT IS NINE TIMES a winnie the pooh movie.

Physcial limitations on a 5 year old. I cannot do much but wait, guide her and hopefully let her know its all right.