Two new great blogs coming near you!!

A few weeks ago, my sister's family came to visit. Spending time with them is ordinarily great; but this time it was even more special since we were able to spend some alone time with my niece Natasha who just turned 13 and my nephew Nolan who is 11. It was just for a couple of days, but full of great memories and moments that I will cherish at least until I see them again. Watching them interact with my kids was amazing. Bella and Alec have only two cousins, but WOW they make the experience so great that even with a small family, my kids should feel lucky...

Even now, Alec (who just turned 3) asks about his cousin Nolan, wondering why he cannot play with him more. (we will need to visit them soon)

A few great things happened during their visit and I will name just a few:

-My niece babysat Isabella and Alec with Nolan's help so we all went out to see Namesake (they were great and handled their cousins very well, even during crying and missing of mommy and daddy)

-I was amazed at the talents, both musical, creative and kindness of these two kids (check out the Easter video two blog entries down...)

-Both Nolan & Tasha attended our Spiritual Cafe (our monthly devotional with 10-20 college aged kids with music, dessert and coffee and conversation about the readings which was based on the theme: Justice) They both sat through the entire event, and had a good time chatting with the friends. I think they even enjoyed it!

-We talked about writing, life and cool new games on the Internet where you can actually help save an island from a tsunami (serious games...a great site for kids)

-After talking about journals, reflections and computers, we discussed my blog, and you know what? They both decided to create their own.

So without further delay, check out Nolan's blog at wrestlingeinstein.blogspot.com and Natasha's blog at: tripl3threatbebe.blogspot.com. ENJOY

90 letter in 90 days

I watched Namesake as planned and I was very moved.

I forgot that as a child growing up in America fighting my parent's culture alongside my sister, that my parents had a very real struggle themselves. This film highlighted that view for me, with subtleties that sunk in in ways I never expected.

Seeing the transition of a young woman who lives in a fun-loving lifestyle, full of warmth, a close knit family, music, colors and warm weather as a backdrop, flies over to an unknown city (NY) but still considered a "better place" was a shock. The images of the departure from her family at the airport was a new idea to me; never had I even thought of the moment my parent's had left their home; and now I was dying to remember or find out and sense their feelings on the day they walked onto the plan towards a new life.

The arrival to a cold snowy NY seemed so barren despite the opportunities it promised. I wonder, whether the students/workers/families who travelled here ever realized that there was a huge cost to living in this lonely country. Yes, opportunities would be available; but was the overall long term return on investment truly understood? (For my Mom and Dad, I still don't know from their perspective that is.)

Amazing how so many immigrants decided to take the plunge, whether from India, Pakistan, China, Africa or from anywhere elsewhere, what a tough experience it must have been for them all.

Obviously, times have changed and the Internet, communications, phone calls or even skype are minutes away. But back then? None of this was easy, accessible or possible. I spoke to my step-Dad this weekend, and he told me when he studied in England, that he wrote 90 letters in 90 days because he missed his family. 90 letter in 90 days.

So as I reflect on this new understanding, I want to see the film again, but this time with my Mom in law who also experienced the "transition" experience. She moved from the Netherlands to New Zealand with her child and husband in the early 70's leaving her home presumably for always. She did eventually go back to Europe, as did my husband, but the journey back was not easy, nor was it as cozy as it was when they had left. The time was gone; and adjustment even back home was difficult.

Until now, I thought I had always understood her experience, since I too have moved from US to Europe; but again in this modern day, our days are easier than those before us.

So in short, I am pretty thankful that I watched the film; and even though not all of it was exactly relevant, parts will stay with me for a long time.

Easter 2007

Namesake the reality

I am looking forward to seeing the film "Namesake" next Friday with my sister and our husbands where we will watch a film that will probably remind us what it was like to be growing up in a Pakistani type household in suburban America. Many kids of my generation (1st generation American's of parents from somewhere else) experience the duality of living in one culture; but having roots to another very different foreign lifestyle; one where bringing the roots (parental culture) into ones own (American kid culture) daily life is daunting and not always welcomed.

As a girl who was not a White American (should White be capitalized i wonder?) I was often questioning why I was given such a difficult task; of not already fitting in or feeling like one of the crowd. At least that lasted until high school when we moved from a small suburb of Buffalo NY to NJ. NJ is different on SO MANY levels that the culture shock of what priorities existed overshadowed my insecurity of what I looked like. Big hair and cliques aside, I sought any retreat from the group culture as essential to my survival; and instead found contentment in seeking to be different and to be friends with many rather than few (also the same time when I was introduced to the Baha'i Faith and its worldwide, non prejudiced perspective became utterly refreshing).

Anyway, years later; as law school, career, motherhood, more career and grass roots in human interest govern my life; I find that the differences in each of us should be treasured since the human canvas is stunning with the varying hues of personalities, cultures, beliefs and ideas that merge into a larger human family. I realize that now; and when I look back to see my shyness or hesitancy in sharing my "roots" with anyone; I realize I could have taken a different perspective and maybe even appreciate what my parents shared with me with more value, respect and honor.

Lessons learned. Maybe once I see the film it will reiterate just that.

Creativity at its finest

It could start out as a song; a design; a few words; a witty comment or even a look. Sometimes I am amazed at how at how creativity can expose an inner beauty stored somewhere deep waiting to be revealed at the right time. I get this with my kids; i.e. Bella's beautiful illustrations, or Alec's engaging expressions in his eyes that can melt any heart, but I most often have found the most amazing treasures from my friend, closest companion/husband guy, Pieter.

Maybe it is his piercing blue eyes that contain the deep sense of reality that we cannot yet see yet; but I think he has a gift that needs to be shared. I guess I should recap to convey what I mean.

In my last 13 years of knowing this guy, I have seen transformation on an exponential level in the way he thinks, learns and tries to unravel this mysterious world we live in. Whether a successful IT director in charge of offices on the whole east coast for a huge company; a grass roots Faith activist for everything that needs to be right in this world; a chef of multi talents that will only find his pizza dough "decent" after 3 years of stretching; a phenomenal Father, teacher, mentor, hands on with his kids who will take actually 29 minutes in describing how blood flows through the body; and actually get my 6 year old to completely find satisfaction from every question she poses; a thoughtful kind true hearted person that can share his love with anyone who has the room to receive it; an expert wood crafter hobbyist, who can actually Autocad a gorgeous set of cabinets and carve them out of maple adding Euro sleek stainless steel pulls after 500 hours (in summer 2004, in less than 9 weeks).

And, to top it off, he is at the very exciting stage of writing a novel that will let others experience how a global/spiritual ethic is not only provocative, but necessary.

Tonight he finished the prototype for a new website to re-launch Next Level Radio; the super cool pod cast that is produced by our friend W Morrison III. You can go to nextlevelradio.org; but stay tuned for the new version coming to an Internet page near you...

Anyway, I had to pause and just appreciate, like the finest cup of espresso with the hint of crema, the moment had to be savored.

To check out his thoughts online, and to see great photos of the kitchen he made, go to indigored.com, enjoy...

Ayyam-i-Ha children's story...

What is the best way to explain to Isabella that Ayyam-I-Ha is a great holiday and that she should be proud of this time of gift giving and sharing and preparation for the upcoming Fast? Well, this year, it was a little hard because as a six year old, now she tells her friends about it, which is great except this year, no one believed her. She 1st mentioned it around Christmastime and since then when she descibed that she got usually at least 1 gift per day for 4-5 days before March, they just figured she was confused. So this year, we thought we try to change that.

"Remembering Isabella's Ayyam-I-Ha" created by illustrations made by Bella (12 of them) and set to a short story describes that Bella was having a hard time explaining and convincing her classmates that this holiday existed. Each child was convinced that she "must" have been thinking about their holiday, Christmas, Eid, Diwali, Hannukah etc. Instead of staying sad, Isabella asked her mommy to explain to her friends what this holiday was, and why we celebrate it...
With book in hand, gifts in a bag, and goodies to share, we brought this to her school yesterday and shared this story with ALL of her classmates from her entire school. It was a lot of fun reading it to each class and hearing many of Isabella's friends wish her a wonderful Ayyam-i-Ha. Finally, they will now NOT forget, and in the process learn about this new time of year for Baha'is all over the world...

1st day of fasting

As I hear the rain drops and the trees sway to the wind, I find several minutes of time in the AM where the kids are sleeping and I have prepared for the 1st day of fast.

Pieter and I got up this morning, enjoyed some tea, ate our early "pre-fast" breakfast and said some prayers. I did some Yoga to Shiva Rea, and now ready to reflect before my hectic day starts at work...

Fasting is a unique opportunity to reflect on things, pray for strength and to rely MORE upon the spiritual realities, rather just on our own patterns of life, where eating & drinking takes a much larger role. As a child, when my parents fasted for Ramadan, I would look on as a witness to a process that I rarely understood. It was never explained too much on the "why" or the benefits, but rather as an exercise in duty and reverence.

This year, there is a unique "spirit" in the air; like I am treading this path knowing it will be fine, excited about the opportunity and not too weary about the overall difficulties (yet) that the fast may have on me as an individual. Part of this surprises me, since my work has doubled since a few months ago, and my 80 hour work load per week has not unfortunately decreased. As a result, I am very curious to see how my legal counsel will be impacted without my coffee and tea to cheer me up during my crazy day.

Instead, I am going to bring a little care package to work with me; a prayer book, some inspiring writings and definitely my IPOD with all 3000 songs to keep me going.

"...Prayer and fasting is the cause of awakening and mindfulness and conducive to protection and preservation from tests..." --Abdu'l-Baha

Valentines Day (by choice)

I bought a heart Valentines Day brownie for my kids today. I figured the least I could do was to offer them a special dessert on the night before tomorrow. Incidentally, I had the cake read: Happy heart day... since the concept of Valentines is sometimes too hard to take in our forced fed culture of canned romance, or boxed, long stem...you get the picture. Instead, I glanced at something in the global papers today that made me think how lucky we actually may be, to others on the other side of the world.

I read about a proposed law, the Anti-Women Practices Bill which was introduced into Parliament today in the country of Pakistan. For those who were not aware about this country's traditions or why this is so important, let me explain.

Men, a tribe, a small community, due to tradition and ignorance find it appropriate to force a woman to marry, or force her not to marry and marry her to a religion (literally Koran marraiges actually happen to help prevent women claiming inherited property). They can even force her to marry to settle a feud.

I am not sure about you, but if my entire life, future and old age would have to be spent with a guy I hardly knew due to a feud in my neighborhood; I would go ballistic...

In recent years, there has been a push both culturally and politically (by some, not all) to move ahead the clock on these traditions, and to create a legal right of equality that never existed before in this young country (partitioned from India since 1947).

With a country that has the 6th largest world population of about 166+ Million people in an area almost twice the size of California, the masses are clearly getting a dose of new policy. This is important especially since 48% (based on the CIA at least) are deemed literate which means over 50% are not. Until those folks are educated, many of the people in the country side and villages lives a life of tradition, recounting oral history and guided by their neighbor on what morality, values and traditions to follow.

One quick note, that on the "educated" front, many of my own relatives and friends are very highly educated and come from families that seem to be a different part of Pakistan, a more humanist side, kinder and more equitable to women rights. In fact many women in my family are arguably the stronger thread of their families. Notwithstanding this fact however, the other side still exists and is still at least half the population.

This law would outlaw forced marriages against women, whether by force through tribal custom or otherwise. The penalty is three years--to seven years depending on the offense. If a husband for example raises charges of infidelity and loses, he could face charges of slander and the woman could seek a divorce action. If this law passes, and can stand the muster of the traditionalists, it may offer women a voice, a strong hand and acknowledgement that their choice actually means something.

The hope that I have is that although the law could intiate and codify these important essential human rights, the people who enforce it, the families that hear about it, the women that find empowerment still have to bring this law into reality and make a lasting mark on day to day life in Pakistan... for everyone. Then can a women stop being forced into marriage and a life long journey she never chose.

First it has to pass. Then maybe next year's Valentine's Day, we can have something to celebrate.

The movies that move us

Two films I viewed this month has made a strong impression. One was a old film from the 40's with the then famous film stars I am hardly aware in the 21st century set in NY city when the skyline had only a spattering of buildings. It was an inspiring tale of the individual spirit overcoming the pressures and defined construct of the collective. It took principles of freedom,liberty, creativity, integrity and objectivity to new heights in a way I have hardly seen in films of late. The film was based on a bestseller during that time that even today is sold to hundreds of thousands each year. Ayn Rand's Fountainhhead. Wow.

Although the dramatic film music was amusing and maybe a little overdone, the overall themes, the language used to convey the thoughts of the characters were brilliant. The film portrayed the heroism of the individual spirit, obviously an idea that resonates today when our society seems geared towards collective thoughts on lifestyle, fashion, politics and the quest of materialism. From a personal standpoint I know that the fact that Pieter chooses to write a novel as opposed to making a 6 figure salary in IT has always caused a pause and explanation...

Anyway, see this film if at any time someone feels "pressured" by social expectation. This film will at minimum cause some reflection, may change one's perspective, and maybe even impact others affected by that change as well.

The second film I had to walk out of halfway despite its very high ratings (8.5 out of 10 on IMDB based on 12,000 comments) I found it disturbing, without any benefit and over the top macabre. Pan's Labyrinth and if the name represents a puzzle or maze, I have to say at least that namesake holds true. I cannot imagine why so many people adored this film, a collection of images that evoked an empathy, sadness and injustice that was not reconciled through out the movie. It seems unfair and almost cruel to put audiences through this trust that when characters unjustly are tortured, punished, oppressed and vilified, that at least some sense of justice is felt by the end. The sheer fact that we are left alone in a journey within a dark reality without the triumph or even acknowledgement of human virtue spanning over a collection of minutes is something I prefer not to endure.

Overall I am so glad that there is this medium where visual arts demonstrate facets of the human condition. But in this time that we live in, where acts of heroism are overshadowed (sometimes) by the hardness of the global realities we face, it would be a gift to see more films that engage in improving the human condition and reflecting the true spiritual reality upon which we are based.

Roses...

Support can come in many ways; through friends understanding, through colleagues offering their congrats on a job well done; through the hug of a child with eternal love and smiles; and through the sweet gesture of having pink roses brought to me after a long trip away from home.

These are the moments I can play over and over again in my mind, the few seconds which linger and when remembered, brings a smile to my heart. While my husband Pieter works on his creative talent of book writing, and extrapolating the essence of what inspires a 21st century person to contribute to this world, I am reminded that work, discipline and focus is a talent we must all hone, and never ignore. Yet through this unending task, we need others to help us along the way. Whether prayer, meditation, chatting on the phone, laughing out loud at nothing at all, or just stopping to smell the roses, we all need that push to get us through the task when we run out of breath.

And so to my special friend with the simple initials of PB, thank you for your support and the unending encouragement, love and pink roses that you bring.

Merci...